Imagine -revisited

I have the urge to revisit this write up when a few days ago I saw a black & white photo of John and Yoko in their birthday suit. Nothing left to imagination.

And John Lennon in his song "Imagine" has said it all.

We all have our own imagination. What are my imaginations? This is a weird question to answer. Be careful you may be accused of being mad if you try to record all your imaginations. If not mad then they may think that you are unstable or sychophenic. Is that the right word? Someone correct me!

Imagination has no boundary, no time frame, no limits, no life, no death no nothing. That is why it is called imagination. It is fig of the mind. But our mind is limited. Its MB is very small. God has said that human knowledge is only of drop of water in a big oceans of this earth. So what knowledge we have is very small and so is our mind. So is our imagination. God has said that we cannot imagine the beauty of Al-Janah and the dooms of Minan-Nar (If you do not know what they are, just take a guess). So logically imaginations has limitations.

What have I been imagining of? Basically it depends on my mood. I remember when I was very small, sitting at the "serambi" door in my grandfathers house and looking up at the cloud. Have you ever done that? Yes I saw many creatures up there, some beautiful ones and some rather frightening. But all these creatures were associated with my knowledge at that time, either being told by other people, seen them myself or seen them in dreams. You see sheep, dogs, human, you name it and they were all there. Sheep? Yes my grandfather used to keep sheep. Dreams are also imagination I suppose. You dreams most of the time when you are asleep. What of day dreams? We all have them. Have you ever notice how some people have that "far away look"?

One of the real frightening imagination I used to have was when I was very young when I was really ill. I had this spasm of the heart then I supposed. It was something like that, it used to pain a lot in the chest. When this came then I began to see big dark cloud coming at me. It was dark, growing and coming at me. It was like psychedelic pictures but no colour. Frightening! Then I began to shout and my grandmother used to come to me to massage my chest. Then the pains went away and the imagination went away as well.Was I at death doorstep then?

Have you ever imagine you fall in love. And this happened when I was very young, probably at 7 or 8 years old. Nothing ever came out of it but it was exhilarating. You just imagine you fall in love but you do not really fall in love. It was just a way of trying to feel attached to a female when you have no sister. Or was it that?

In my school days I experienced a lot of time when I really had no money. I imagined that if I was a Sultans son how nice it would have been. Plenty of money and many big cars. Maybe I was a Sultans son unknowingly being raised in the kampong. See how strong my imagination was. But which Sultan?

Have you ever imagine yourself being a film star. When I was introduced to the cinema while at a secondary school, I used to buy a lot of these magazines telling about films and actors/actresses. These were if I remember well such as "Picture Goer, ..........I cannot remember the rest. And I used to buy those Annuals which has these film stars photoes with their signatures on them ... Clark Gable, Alan Ladd, Gary Cooper, Howard Keel. Lawrence Ollivier, Tony Curtis, John Wyne.......many more, Marilyn Monroe, Betty Grabble, June Ellison, Debbie Reynold, Elizabeth Taylor (how can I forget her), Lauren Becall........many more. And the Malay ones as well, P.Ramlee and Latifah Omar were my favourites, remember Panggilan Pulau? Well I used to imagine that if these happenings in films were real how wonderful it would have been. And in those days the story always ended with happy endings. I imagine that life always had happy endings. I had always wondered how my life would turn out to be.

I had this strange fascination for England. We used to know more about England than about Malaya (then). I knew their history, geography, climate, Kings/Queens, Wars, trees, weather, literature, you name them and I knew them. I thought that all orang putih were rich (like those who came to Malaya then), spoke softly and the country were all white people with blue eyes and blonde hair. I thought it must be a kind of heaven. So when I imagine myself going there, and I went there. Before going I looked up in the Encyclopaedia Britanica at the school library all about England. I had strong imagination about the place then. They were all good. But when I arrived there, I found that the climate was too cold and there were also a lot of black people there. But that was the first time I saw 'orang putih' being road sweepers.

I lived in the kampong for a long time. I saw animals in the kampong doing their business, having sex, giving birth, doing al the natural things that animals do. Not many children who grow up in the town have seen all these. I saw them all. And dogs when they 'do it', what a sight!. I tried to imagine how does human 'do it'. I could not imagine it. Like buffaloes, like sheep, like chicken, like ducks, like dogs or even like cats? That is something I could not imagine. Children talked about it but nobody seemed sure 'how people do it'. The adults would not tell you.

Ever imagine what death is all about. I mean what happen at the point you are about to 'go'? You read it in the Koraan or in the other Kitabs. But then what happen when you 'go' but not yet buried?. What happen when you are about to be buried? What happen when you are left alone in your grave? When will the first worm eat into you? Do you feel anything then? Those questions nobody can answer but do you ever imagine about it? Yeah that is death, but where were you before you get into your mummy's tummy? Now the question gets harder. In the same light, say you go to hell. Of course you are tortured the whole 'life'. What is considered the 'whole life', after all there is no death anymore 'over there'. OK you had been a good boy on earth so God puts you into heaven. How would you react to see the 'bidadari'? Will you ever think of sex? OK you are now OK, so what after that? And the women, what do they want with 'bidadari' anyway? That is what I said earlier, our MB is too small.

Ever imagining yourself having wish granted for all your wishes? I supposed if that happens the whole world would be chaotic. But I have imagined a lots of time on it. Of course these are associated with supernatural powers, with Superman (I used to buy a lot of such comics), with magic wand (how tricky it was to read English books on witches and fairies), and with I myself being able to be where I want to be (a sort of spiritual/time travel I suppose). This is further associated with girls. It is always in my case imagining using these powers to get to the girls I imagine I fall in love with. And they don't ever want to know who you are anyway!
In my school days we used to get these claims by some toy manufacturer (especially in comics from America) that the can sell you 'see through the walls' glasses. I have never ordered one and I cannot recall if any of my friends ever ordered one. Can you imagine what it would be like if such claims is true? Its true now though, there are cameras at Airports that can see through your clothings. Just imagine what the cameraman can see.

Why do some people are frightened of water, I mean deep water such as rivers and lakes? I know that I am always scared of deep water. Everytime I go near a deep river, a lake, darkened waters, rocky sea coasts I have this eerie feeling that inside those waters there is always that scaly (or even green) creatures with red eyes and sharp teeth awaiting to gobble you up. There is a lot of imagination attached to this. Where does it starts from? From Hollywood films I suppose. But maybe what I imagine is true. Ever heard of those people in Sarawak getting eaten by crocodiles? There I told you.

There was a time in my life when I had imagined a lot of good things happening in my kampong. I was then away in town attending a secondary school and everytime I come back to the kampong for holidays I would spent all the holiday period in the kampong. I could not afford to go anywhere anyway. I have this imagination of all houses in the kampong were to be connected by enclosed covered footpath. So you are not worried to go around anywhere to any house during the day or night. No sun nor rain can get you, no wild animal can get you and you are safe in any situation. That was a strange fig of imagination. I suppose I was very lonely then. I have always been a loner and I must have desperately wanted company. I am a loner until today. I have made friends but I can never go along with them if it does not suit my temperament. I am I. Strange it may seem but this had helped me to survive. Would I survive better had I not behave in such loner manner? I will never find out.

To shout back, e-mail: mylias@tm.net.my