Can I change my community's habits?

I wrote this earlier in another blog but that blog has been erased. This new version has been edited and updated.

I am going to write on what I see and what I know of my community, the individual in the community and the community as a collective beings. I shall not go into areas where I have only heard but have not seen or really know about. What I see is what I shall describe.

The community has got certain habits which may be good to certain people under certain circumstances and where it is advantageous to the community concerned, but it is against the community's wish then it is considered as bad. So a community's habits is very relative.

In the community where I live there are certain community habits which are practiced and which have been accepted by the community for ages. The community has the habit of living in houses built off the ground using pillars, wood then and concrete now sometimes, thus under the houses usually its empty space. Reason? I understand that they needed to protects the occupants from being attacked by wild animals then, except of course the very big wild animals such as elephants. And during flood seasons, flood water do not inundate the houses unless the flood is exceptionally big. But I am in the opinion that they build these sort of houses so that they can keep their chickens and ducks (in some society pigs and dogs as well) under the house. And on top of that my community have their 'washing' area in the their kitchen compartment area and this area is where they all wash their crockery and dishes, have their domestic water stored and at night when they are too frightened (during the dark hours of the night) to go down out of the houses they use it as a weeing place. And in some cases the children use the area as their 'doing business' place. Imagine, its dark under the house so who dares to go out to do 'business'. And the area under the houses in those days are always kept wet, its called 'laembah' in the local dialect, water then being drained from there by just a shallow drain to a location away from the house. Otherwise its is just messy wet. Unhygienic but that was all that my community knew.

But in other ways my community is quite clean. The steps to the houses are always kept clean, except when chicken with dirty feet climb on those steps, or chicken decides to 'do business' on those steps. My community always used to have a 'tempayan' or a lage medium sized mouth earthernware vessel of water and a 'gayong', made of coconiut shell or an old large tin can, a device for getting bit of the water, to wash their feet with when they are about to climb those steps to enter the houses. And the houses may be kept quite clean by placing mengkuang mat on the floor sit on. And on these mengkuang mat usually they place their prayer mat to pray on. They may even sleep on these mengkuang mat, resting during the day on them and maybe their beds at night.

The beds in my community are usually the roll-on and roll-off mengkuang mat or thin mattresses. But of course there are those who have permanent beds on a raised platforms, not bedstead really but just raised platforms so that children do not play on these beds, usually where the parents or grandparent sleep. My community in those days have extended family so in a house there may live 3 generations of people.

My community people are particular when eating. They must always wash their hands and use their right hands to take their food with and to their mouths, never the left hand. The left hand is supposedly be dirty and may be considered as being rude to eat with or to hand anything to others with. Left hands are used to wash your bot after you go to the toilet.

And when they eat my community people usually sit down, 'bersila', legs folded inward infront and thighs apart, in such a manner that they feel comfortable with. The men eat their food while sitting this way, with the women sitting in 'bertimpuh' fashion, that is their legs and thighs folded sideways backward and they sit away from their legs, and they eat while sitting this way. For those not used to all these sitting positions, it is a tortuous postures to sit when eating. But nowadays almost everyone eat at a table, sitting on chairs. But the 'bersila' and 'bertimpuh' sitting positions are still practiced when they are in the mosque or attending any religious classes when not in a proper classroom or when where tables and chairs are not provided.

But there are certain areas which I find not very pleasant with the people of my community. They spit. This was common, and they spitted almost anywhere, especially when they cough. In those days they have spittoon provided, dirty but to them it was acceptable practice I think not only in my community but also among other communities that had communication with my community. Another habit which I dislike about the people of my community is that they blow their nose anywhere leaving quite a mess behind, especially when they have cold. And in a more urban surroundings they tend to blow their noses into the sink. I hate that. But most of them do not even realise that they are doing something very wrong. Even those educated ones tend to do the same thing, even today.

The people of my community on an average do not really take care of their toilets. I suppose the people of other communities in my country also do not take care of their toilets as well but I am quoting what is happening in my community as I know them better. They seem not to care about their toilets cleanliness, or is it that they do not have enough toilet training, I mean using and cleaning of toilets when leaving them? Or is it that they are selfish, not considering that other people will need to use the toilets after them? And they really mess up when they go to toilet, some do not even flush their toilet. I suppose sometimes the toilet cistern are not functioning properly and there is no water in the cistern (which happens quite often in my country, due to water being shut off or the balls do not open the water inlet to the cistern). And they do not use toilet paper. Actually this is the result of Islamic teachings where the washing after going to the toilet must be done with clean water if water is available or with stone if water is not available. No mention of toilet paper in Islam. But again my knowledge in this area is limited so if there is mention of toilet paper I have not been told.

My community people accept burping as a normal part of everyday living. Its just to show satisfaction if burping after eating. But sometimes they overdo it so that I do not feel very comfortable when I am sitting next to them whilst eating. And worse still when the burp at mosques while praying. Most unpleasant odour emitting. Sometime I feel rather sick when they do that when praying next to me.

Tooth picking is not really considered a habit of the people in my community. They do that now, the habit is probably picked up from other communities. I remember when I was young the people of my community seemed to loose their teeth quite fast. They did not seem to care for their teeth. They did not seem to brush their teeth. But then many people of my community also chew betel nut leaves with all the ingredient in them, so many have reddish dirty stained teeth. This kept the teeth strong but they were a mess. And they spit the red juice quite indiscriminately. Thank God the habit had died down now.

Certain people in my community copy the Arabs in their eating habits. When at an Islamic celebration they eat from the same tray; food are piled up in a fashion in the tray and they eat together. Messy I thought but I have done that once or twice. But I do not like the practice at all. And the extend of their hospitality, when you leave the host's or the celebration's place you are given a package of the leftover. Not very pleasant thoughts really but I could not refuse them, it will be a real insult to refuse. But I never eat from that 'package' given, I think its most unhygienic.

The people of my community leave their shoes outside the house, they do not enter a house with their shoes on. I can appreciate the practice when entering a house, its a mean of ensuring that the house floors are not contaminated by the dirt from the shoes which are worn outside the hose usually now. I also appreciate the practice when they do that on entering a mosque (though many pairs of shoes have been stolen when left outside the mosque like those) but I do not accept the idea of leaving your shoes behind on entering an office. The practice may keep the office carpet clean but its not convenient to take off you shoes every time you enter an office and as when you leave you have to stop just to put your shoes on. Most inconvenient.

The people of my community have this strange custom of having big weddings. I think its a waste. It costs a lot of money and sometimes the parents of the bride/groom can hardly afford the expenditure but are forced to do so because of the custom. I feel that they have carried the custom too far without considering the economic aspects of that custom. Of course everyone can be 'made happy' but then many can also be 'made sad' due to the high expenditure incurred. Showoff? Maybe.

In general the people of my community have good habits but there are also bad habits they must realise and be rid of. But they are easy going so they do not even realise that some of their habits are beyond the tolerance of their own people who have other experience.

Ever been around some cheap flats in KL or any such flats in large towns in Malaysia. Observe that certain community, mine especially, tend to put stalls to sell food. These are seemingly temporary sheds, probably zinc or canvas roofed, with tables and chaired scattered about. But these stalls may be there for a couple of years and then they just disappear or taken over by another. The people of my community cannot last when trying to make into business. They loose interest too fast, especially when they cannot make money quickly. In other communities, business is a way of life as well as for making money..

The people of my community like to work for other people. If you go to any shop or any shopping complex or a general stores in Malaysia you will find that the people of my community are just the workers but the big bosses of these business is a person from another community. Its just the habit of liking to work for another community. Less risk. And you may also observe that they have this habit of horsing around when working, or they like to talk especially at criticising their employers.

Why are the people of my community like manning toll boxes on Malaysian highways? You wonder and I wonder. Not many from the other communities in the Country do that. Could it that its very easy or their habit to man toll boxes on highways? Or be an Office Boy? Or be the 'jaga' for an organisation? I have no answer. My only excuse is that it may be their habits to work in an unchallenging environment. Or are they just plain lazy? Or are they people with subsidy mentality? That is another story.

To shout back, e-mail: mylias@tm.net.my