Young Old
They say that old people tends to talk about the past and young about the future. Old folks have gone through a journey whereas the young may just be starting on a journey. You can hardly tell who is the wiser; the old have the experience but the young are more focussed towards their intentions for the future. Circumstances are different, environment changes and civilisation moves in a direction led by time. And no one can stop time. So the old will stick with old ideas and old practices and the young learns from the old but with the changes around them now they will interpret the experience of the old into their own future planning, the action that they may take may now be different from what the old have taken earlier.
There is always the debate between generations, and in certain society the gap widens because of the debate. Understanding of each other's functions diverse and in some society will lead to the rule of the jungle, the stronger ruling the weak and in most cases the weak being the elderly. Sad situation really but that is the fact of life. When you are young, which once you are, you are looked up to but having passed a certain age you are now considered old and so you give away so that the young will come forward. Unrealisingly you are actually vacating a seat of power which if not managed properly you become the victim.
OK, it sounds very frustrating in some society to the old but it really depends on the relationship between those with age differences. Sometimes its the old who do not understand the young, the old being more patient, at least in most cases, and the young being more impatient with getting things done and in the end one will be pointing fingers at each other, one accusing the other of not actually understanding the situation before one takes action. Sound familiar isn't it.
Age cannot be reversed, the young will grow old and the old older and die - its the rule of nature. Its only the question of how fast the young becoming old and how fast the old grows older and die. But again, the old may grow old physically but do their mental beings grow old as well? That is a difficult conclusion to make, the old may be slow to react to situations, but are they really that slow in the thinking efforts? Do the young really act that fast, or if fast do they take the correct action when reacting to an action or a demand? Its a debate without end.
A difficult area in certain society is the relationship between sexes in that society. The old though physically old but has young mind and then trying to prove that he/she is still young. When relationships develop in such a situation, it becomes difficult to manage. As they say "the desire is there but the flesh is weak". Maybe that is appropriate for men but does it apply to women? I have no answer. And of course the young wants to grow fast, to reproduce fast and so in some cases the relationship can be quite complicated. If the relationship occurs within the age group then I suppose it will not be too difficult to manage other than if these happened in different strata of society. In those days it was really difficult to manage but nowadays its easier as the strata become less and less, and some have even merged.
One area which is still a problem as I see it is on the management of the very old and the very young, especially those sickly ones. In the old days there were such things as parental love and piety or filial duties but in these days of economics runaways, piety and filial duty have gone to the dogs. Why do I say so? When a baby is borne, the baby will be looked after by a maid minder as both parents be working. So the baby grows up into a child of the minder. And when in school the child just becomes one of he children of society, so he/she grows into the society in the environment where he/she goes to school, and so on to the University and then to the working life. The process goes on. Now what about the old? Well the old then become a burden to the child like the child then a burden to the parents earlier. So now the child will have to send the parents to some minders, and the easiest will be Nursing Homes or in the old days these are called Old Folks Home where he/she pays minders like then when the parents pay minders. So the process goes on. When will this stop? I do not know the answer.
Actually by observation, I see pitiful scenes when people grow old and when children move out to lead their own lives. Some people build big houses to cater for he whole family to live in but in the end the parents become just the ones living souls in the house. And most rooms will not be occupied and if they have upstairs, then the upstairs will not be occupied. Of course the children may come back home off and on, say during festival, but only for a few days and after that its an empty house again. Not many realise the situation as I mentioned. In the Malay society for which I am part of, its always nice to have a big house where you can use when all come back for the festival or during a marriage ceremony or when death occurs in the family. But how often does this happen. Festival only come once or twice a year, wedding depending on the number of children the family have and death only come once to a person. All in all those big houses may not be that useful really if one were to think seriously about it. And if you have a house with staircases its worse still, old people may not like to climb those staircases. So they will just spend most of their time downstairs, or they may spend all their time downstairs, the upstairs remaining empty.
Its is nice if one can grow old gracefully. But to grow old gracefully one must have economic strength and be able to control that economic strength. If one does not have the economic strength its so difficult to grow old gracefully. When you have no money no one will love you, old or young. Worse still if you are old, you will find it difficult to earn money, you may not even find employment. The old have longer time to recover and they may find it not easy to find employment to pay for their living. But will children share what they earn with the parents? Its difficult to say, depending again on their sense of piety or filial sense. But when they, the children, themselves barely earn enough to upkeep their family, the first to be neglected will be the old parents if the old parents are not economically strong. But again how many parents are economically strong really, unless they invested wisely when young or have big savings, or on a pensionable scheme. In the Western countries, the Government takes care of its old citizen (Senior Citizens they call them), in a way, but in the countries in the East such social benefit is almost nonexistent.
Growing old is inevitable. Being old is inevitable as well. Managing the old is something that are not taught in school. Somehow getting old and being old have more downs than up. You are "old", you have gray hair (some thinning and some may not have hair at all), you may have arthritis, your teeth drop off, you wrinkle, you have aches and pain all over, and worst of all you may fall ill. You spent more of your time nursing yourself rather than being productive, to yourself and to society, of course with a few exceptions. And when you are ill your recovery period is very long. In places where hospital or medical facilities are inadequate then you suffer. And if medical facilities are available then you also suffer, economically. As you have to pay for all these facilities usage. In all areas you loose. Where are you really when you are old? Just waiting to die? That is a defeatist attitude, which old folks must avoid.
A young man says to me one day sometime back "Age is just a number". He may be right, he was a young man. And as the number increases then they rename you 'old', whether its just a number or not.
Age is inevitable, just resign to it but manage it with all the intelligence and experience that an old man has. Be happy and pray to God that all will end up well. After all there is always another day coming, and you do not even know when your last day is.
Where are you today? Well if someone calls you "Adik" (Younger brother/sister), or someone calls you "Abang/Kakak" (older brother/sister) or "Uncle/Auntie" or 'Atuk/Nenek" (Grandpa/Grandma) you know where you are.
There is always the debate between generations, and in certain society the gap widens because of the debate. Understanding of each other's functions diverse and in some society will lead to the rule of the jungle, the stronger ruling the weak and in most cases the weak being the elderly. Sad situation really but that is the fact of life. When you are young, which once you are, you are looked up to but having passed a certain age you are now considered old and so you give away so that the young will come forward. Unrealisingly you are actually vacating a seat of power which if not managed properly you become the victim.
OK, it sounds very frustrating in some society to the old but it really depends on the relationship between those with age differences. Sometimes its the old who do not understand the young, the old being more patient, at least in most cases, and the young being more impatient with getting things done and in the end one will be pointing fingers at each other, one accusing the other of not actually understanding the situation before one takes action. Sound familiar isn't it.
Age cannot be reversed, the young will grow old and the old older and die - its the rule of nature. Its only the question of how fast the young becoming old and how fast the old grows older and die. But again, the old may grow old physically but do their mental beings grow old as well? That is a difficult conclusion to make, the old may be slow to react to situations, but are they really that slow in the thinking efforts? Do the young really act that fast, or if fast do they take the correct action when reacting to an action or a demand? Its a debate without end.
A difficult area in certain society is the relationship between sexes in that society. The old though physically old but has young mind and then trying to prove that he/she is still young. When relationships develop in such a situation, it becomes difficult to manage. As they say "the desire is there but the flesh is weak". Maybe that is appropriate for men but does it apply to women? I have no answer. And of course the young wants to grow fast, to reproduce fast and so in some cases the relationship can be quite complicated. If the relationship occurs within the age group then I suppose it will not be too difficult to manage other than if these happened in different strata of society. In those days it was really difficult to manage but nowadays its easier as the strata become less and less, and some have even merged.
One area which is still a problem as I see it is on the management of the very old and the very young, especially those sickly ones. In the old days there were such things as parental love and piety or filial duties but in these days of economics runaways, piety and filial duty have gone to the dogs. Why do I say so? When a baby is borne, the baby will be looked after by a maid minder as both parents be working. So the baby grows up into a child of the minder. And when in school the child just becomes one of he children of society, so he/she grows into the society in the environment where he/she goes to school, and so on to the University and then to the working life. The process goes on. Now what about the old? Well the old then become a burden to the child like the child then a burden to the parents earlier. So now the child will have to send the parents to some minders, and the easiest will be Nursing Homes or in the old days these are called Old Folks Home where he/she pays minders like then when the parents pay minders. So the process goes on. When will this stop? I do not know the answer.
Actually by observation, I see pitiful scenes when people grow old and when children move out to lead their own lives. Some people build big houses to cater for he whole family to live in but in the end the parents become just the ones living souls in the house. And most rooms will not be occupied and if they have upstairs, then the upstairs will not be occupied. Of course the children may come back home off and on, say during festival, but only for a few days and after that its an empty house again. Not many realise the situation as I mentioned. In the Malay society for which I am part of, its always nice to have a big house where you can use when all come back for the festival or during a marriage ceremony or when death occurs in the family. But how often does this happen. Festival only come once or twice a year, wedding depending on the number of children the family have and death only come once to a person. All in all those big houses may not be that useful really if one were to think seriously about it. And if you have a house with staircases its worse still, old people may not like to climb those staircases. So they will just spend most of their time downstairs, or they may spend all their time downstairs, the upstairs remaining empty.
Its is nice if one can grow old gracefully. But to grow old gracefully one must have economic strength and be able to control that economic strength. If one does not have the economic strength its so difficult to grow old gracefully. When you have no money no one will love you, old or young. Worse still if you are old, you will find it difficult to earn money, you may not even find employment. The old have longer time to recover and they may find it not easy to find employment to pay for their living. But will children share what they earn with the parents? Its difficult to say, depending again on their sense of piety or filial sense. But when they, the children, themselves barely earn enough to upkeep their family, the first to be neglected will be the old parents if the old parents are not economically strong. But again how many parents are economically strong really, unless they invested wisely when young or have big savings, or on a pensionable scheme. In the Western countries, the Government takes care of its old citizen (Senior Citizens they call them), in a way, but in the countries in the East such social benefit is almost nonexistent.
Growing old is inevitable. Being old is inevitable as well. Managing the old is something that are not taught in school. Somehow getting old and being old have more downs than up. You are "old", you have gray hair (some thinning and some may not have hair at all), you may have arthritis, your teeth drop off, you wrinkle, you have aches and pain all over, and worst of all you may fall ill. You spent more of your time nursing yourself rather than being productive, to yourself and to society, of course with a few exceptions. And when you are ill your recovery period is very long. In places where hospital or medical facilities are inadequate then you suffer. And if medical facilities are available then you also suffer, economically. As you have to pay for all these facilities usage. In all areas you loose. Where are you really when you are old? Just waiting to die? That is a defeatist attitude, which old folks must avoid.
A young man says to me one day sometime back "Age is just a number". He may be right, he was a young man. And as the number increases then they rename you 'old', whether its just a number or not.
Age is inevitable, just resign to it but manage it with all the intelligence and experience that an old man has. Be happy and pray to God that all will end up well. After all there is always another day coming, and you do not even know when your last day is.
Where are you today? Well if someone calls you "Adik" (Younger brother/sister), or someone calls you "Abang/Kakak" (older brother/sister) or "Uncle/Auntie" or 'Atuk/Nenek" (Grandpa/Grandma) you know where you are.
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